By Mary Lee Gannon – Ladders

Here are two things that can be really harmful to both your career success and overall happiness as a human being. Watch out for them.

We continually strategize on the things we need to do to advance our careers, close the sale, be happier, have better relationships and get what we want. More often than not it is what we need to cease doing that gives us the most power.

1. Don’t discount your dreams.

I used to live life from a “but at least it’s not ______” perspective. I thought this was being positive because I could always think of something worse. This was an OK way of remaining optimistic in the face of adversity until it became habit for all of life and halted my ability to envision the openness of wonder.

It wasn’t until I was aware of this that I began to risk shifting to the vulnerable choice of exploring joy without expecting it to be short lived. To ushering in opportunity that I knew was meant for me without holding onto fear. To seeing all that was there with the curiosity of a child. This ability to stay in the moment without fast forwarding to an anticipated ending broke open the world for me. It put an end to all endings. It left me only with beginnings.

I stopped needing to be right. I started listening to understand. I stopped being guarded. I started feeling acceptance. I stopped setting small goals. I started living in a big space of “this is what freedom feels like.”

2. Don’t wait for life to be fair

When I was struggling as a single working mother of four children under seven-years-old on public assistance, homeless and without an automobile I used to think there would eventually be an epiphany where life would finally become “fair” and get better. But it didn’t. And I grew more angry and defeated. Though I never stopped working harder and harder in corporate America toward my goal of being a good role model for my children.

I rose quickly to the CEO level mostly, I think, because I had four beautiful mouths hanging open in front of me like baby birds and I had no fear of risks. In my marriage I had already experienced the biggest rejection of my life so hearing “no” didn’t phase me. I’ve never been qualified for any of the roles I’ve applied for on paper but I could demonstrate measurable accomplishments that made this irrelevant. Still, I kept waiting for “fair” to happen. I kept my head down and everyday read and studied my fascination with human behavior.