by Peter Collins

Body language can be described as the unspoken or non-verbal complementary kind of communication we engage in. It is those gestures that can send out alarm bells to those that have been trained to understand the subtleties of our interaction with another person or with groups of people.

People from walks of life lie for a variety of reasons. With some it may be to cover up a fault or embarrassment, with others to avoid upsetting other people, to encourage others when no hope can be perceived, or to be spared from all manner of petty hassle. It may also be caused by more serious problems such as delusional imaging to extreme vanity.

Some describe the art of Body Language being somewhat like a mirror that gives us an indication of what the other person may think or feel in response to the way we use our words, or the actions we apply, in conjunction with those words. And it is the same information that can be applied whenever someone wants to lie to you – for whatever reason.

Here are some indicators of what may be conveyed by people when lying:
• They may speak in a high-pitched, fast-paced, stuttering voice.
• They may be constantly swallowing or clearing their throat.
• They may try to avoid having eye contact. This particularly applies to those who want to avoid discussing a certain topic.
• They look everywhere else except at you throughout the conversation, just taking an occasionally quick glimpse at you from the corner of their eye.
• They may lick their tongue frequently and moisten their lips.
• They are known to blink rapidly when disguising something.
• They tend rub their throat a lot.
• Their arms can be crossed over the chest during conversation.
• They may be constantly touching parts of their face, especially the mouth, ear, and nose, while all the while, appear to be covering them.
• They may persistently scratch their head or the back of the neck.
• Their posture poses are generally closed, descending, and/or insecure.
• Their hands or feet may be constantly tapping.
• They tend to generally look downward with rounded shoulders.
• They will more than likely be moving from one place to another or constantly changing their position.
• They will generally point parts of their body (feet) at an escape route (door).

Despite these things Never Jump to Conclusions.
Every one of us has a unique Body Language together with a unique way of expressing the Spoken Word. And although silence may usually suggest that an individual may be reserved and relaxed, some people just keep their anger within themselves and stay quiet. This is very unhealthy because rage kept up inside can explode furiously anytime, causing serious casualties.

While a wide open mouth may be a sign of shock or astonishment for one person, another person who exhibits this gesture in an identical manner could simply be concentrating intently on the task at hand. And here too we need to tread cautiously as not all you observe may be what it appears.

Here’s an example. While in some circles of Body Language, the constant touching of the mouth or lips may suggest the person is lying, the real reason might just be that the mouth is itching.
One way to overcome any form of misunderstanding is to watch out for other signals that align with the body language being exhibited at the time. As an example, you could safely confirm if a person is really nervous, simply if he exhibits many of the traits of nervous behavior described in a number of sectors within this chapter. But any judgment based on just one or two gestures only may be too inconclusive to be accurate.

The best way to approach the understanding of Body Language as an adjunct communication tool, is to combine your observations with other signals, like the spoken words they use to get more hints regarding the real inner feelings of another person.

Above all, tread warily in the early stages of your diagnosis of what another person’s Body Language may mean, before you fully submerse yourself in this discipline and begin to use this new-found power to your advantage.